Mindful Sexuality

Create a Deeper Connection With Your Partner

March 12, 2021

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pic by Jane Kusin

Do you want to create a deeper connection with your partner? Here is what you need to do.

1. Well first, do you have a deep connection with yourself? 

2. Second, does your partner want that connection?

3. Third, what are you doing to create it?

Let me explain…

1. Do you have a deep connection with yourself?

Yes, I know you might be tired of hearing about doing your own work. And you might be tired of reading and doing all the things to connect with your body and soul.

Sidenote: Soul-work does not need to feel like a chore (although sometimes it might be), we can learn to invite soul-work into our lives in a nurturing and soothing way.

Now, going back to having a deep connection with a partner, there is no way around this: To have deeper connections with partners, you need to have a deep connection with yourself. 

Ask yourself this…

What would you ask for if you do not know what you want?

How will you decide if touch (emotional or physical) feels right or wrong if you do not know how to feel?

How can you be present to someone else’s body, when you are not present to your own?

How can you breathe life into their soul if you are not breathing life into yours?

Start wondering about your own soul, your body, and your energy – your partner will most likely be attracted to that and will want to join you in the exploration (or they might not and that will provide you with information to make decisions).

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2. Does your partner want that connection?

We cannot force our partners to connect with us. But, if we are doing the work, we can invite them to join us. We can ask verbally, physically, and/or energetically.

Now, one needs to have a desire to explore deeper connections. If there are blockages or fear, if a partner is emotionally unavailable or has trust issues, it might be harder to engage them.

However, if they do have a desire for a deeper, juicier connection, they will join us in practices and will get curious together with us. They will slowly start connecting to themselves and will urge for more connection with us.

You see, you can tell me all you want that food at a certain restaurant is great. You can tell me all about it but only until I try it, will I start going regularly. I will not just go to the restaurant to listen to you talk about food. I will need to try the food to be convinced and surely, I’ll want to eat more. So, if partners are ready to start practicing together, at the same time as building a connection with themselves, that is a sign that they want a deeper connection with you.

3. What are you doing to create it?

Wanting something is a great first step, however, it is not the last one. What are you doing to create a deeper connection? 

Here are other steps you can take:

Communication – open, vulnerable, and honest. Talking about things that matter to you, sharing from your soul. Not just surface stuff of things that happen externally, but what happens internally, in your soul.

Practices – taking time to be present and mindful with each other. Taking time to breathe, and to engage in an eye gaze.

Sexual intimacy – being present in sexual practices, practicing slow and passionate sex. Taking time to please each other.

Building visions – have you built a vision together? For the relationship, for family, etc.? Are you on the same team? 

Connection takes work and maintenance. But it does not need to be hard work. It can be a sweet journey of wonder and discoveries. If you choose, this is how you can create a deeper connection with your partner.

Have fun, life is not that serious.

Much love and joy,

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