Mindful Sexuality

5 Ways of Sexual Self-Care

October 10, 2020

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Sexual self-care is important, because it allows you to FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF again, and again and again...

There is physical sexual self-care such as regular checks in, muscle work, reproductive health. But there is sexual self-care that is part of our holistic growth as humans beings.

Many of us have sexual traumas, some of us have strong sexual ego and most of us lack sexual education and growth. Today we can see more and more sexual development happening, but there is still more to be accomplished.

We have tendency to put our sexual and spiritual health on automatic, giving away own responsibility around it. But the truth is that we have to take ownership around our sex and sexuality. Otherwise we should not expect to have a healthy and outrageous sexual life.

Here are few sexual self-care practices beyond physical, that might empower and transform you as a sexual being.

1. Sexual Acceptance

The way our society functions today it pushes us to hide and feel shameful about our sexual desires, sexual fears, and sexual freedom. Acceptance is a big part of self-care and sexuality is not an exception. Most of us have desires we are not sharing, experiences we are not trying, sides of ourselves we are not embodying. It is ok to have all of that.

Some of us feel we should have desires, or we should feel certain way just because. But we all are where we are. We get to learn and experience inside of the present moment.

Accepting your sexuality, you body, your desires, your lack of desires, your age, your skin, your hair is part of sexual self-care.

2. Sexual Healing Work

Sometimes we walk around with experiences, that we never looked into, we putter then on the shelve and moved on.

Many of us are walking holding on to past traumas, or choices we made that we are mad at ourselves, or people who hurt us. All of that affects our energy and our health. Most of us have experiences where we can use some sexual healing. This work may include forgiveness, expression, shame cleaning, acceptance, feeling the anger, generational healing, sexual mindset inventory work and much more.

What are you believes around intimacy and relationships?

What your parents though you?

What shame you carry for choices you made?

Who are you angry at, for the pain you felt?

ALL OF THAT and then some more, gets to be worked through. Sexual healing is a self-care.

 

3. SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH SELF

What is your sexul relationship with yourself? Do you appreciate and love your body, do you take time to enjoy your food or coffee, do you have a masturbation practice?

Inside of that relationship do you allow yourself to dance and be silly when you are alone? How often do you touch yourself just for the sake of love?

Our sexual relationship with ourselves strongly impacts our relationship with our partners, our spiritual and emotional health. It is how we experience ourselves when we walk down the street and and in the bedroom.

It is how much of our sexuality we allow to be seen and how much we allow self to feel. Sexual relationship with self, is a self-care.

4. Getting your sexual voice back

Sexual voice is your right to verbal sexual expression. However, absence of that voice is the most common issue most of my clients deal with. Most of us lost our sexual voices when we were young, causing us sexual disempowerment. What does the absence of sexual voice look like in your daily life?

 

Some of the examples:

Not expressing your sexual desires

Feel uncomfortable taking about sex

Being ashamed of using sexual vocabulary

No being able to say "no"

Not verbalizing your sexual concerns

Feeling discomfort talking about sexual topics

Feeling menstrual shame

Being quiet during sexual intercourse

These are just few to look into. You get to decide what you want to do about it. And how comfortable you are awakening that voice.

 

5. Sexual Permission 

Yes, allow yourself anything you want. Allow yourself to do or not to do, allow yourself to speak when you ready and to play when you in a mood. Allow yourself to touch, to lick or to bite. Allow yourself to show up, or to hide. Giving self permission to be anything is act of self love.

 

Much Love and Joy,

Julia